Supporting a Loved One with Cancer: What to Say and Do
When someone you love is diagnosed with cancer, it can be difficult to know what to say or how to help. You may worry about saying the wrong thing or feel unsure about how to provide meaningful support. While every individual’s journey is different, offering kindness, presence, and understanding can make a significant difference.
What to Say: Words of Comfort and Encouragement
· Finding the right words can be challenging, but your support means more than you realize. Here are some thoughtful things you can say:
· "I'm here for you." – A simple reminder that they are not alone can be deeply comforting.
· "I love you." – Expressing love and care provides emotional reassurance.
· "How are you feeling today?" – This opens the door for them to share, without assuming how they feel.
· "It's okay to feel however you feel." – Validating their emotions lets them know their feelings are heard and accepted.
· "You don’t have to go through this alone." – Reinforce that they have a support system ready to help.
What to Avoid Saying
Some phrases, though well-intended, may not be helpful:
· "I know exactly how you feel." – Everyone’s experience is unique, so it’s best to listen rather than assume.
· "Everything happens for a reason." – This may not bring comfort and could feel dismissive of their pain.
· "You just need to stay positive." – While optimism is important, it’s okay for them to express fear, frustration, or sadness.
· "Let me know if you need anything." – Instead, offer specific help, like cooking a meal or driving them to an appointment.
What to Do: Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Beyond words, your actions can provide real comfort and support. Here are some meaningful ways to help:
1. Be Present
Simply being there—whether in person, through a phone call, or a heartfelt message—can make a huge difference. Sometimes, just sitting in silence with them is enough.
2. Offer Practical Help
Cancer treatments can be exhausting, making everyday tasks overwhelming. Offer specific help, such as:
· Preparing meals
· Running errands or grocery shopping
· Providing transportation to medical appointments
· Assisting with childcare or household chores
3. Respect Their Needs
Some days, they may want to talk, and other days, they may need space. Let them set the pace, and follow their lead in how they want to communicate or interact.
4. Educate Yourself
Learn about their type of cancer and treatment options, including alternative therapies, but don’t overwhelm them with unsolicited advice. Being informed helps you understand what they’re going through.
5. Encourage but Don't Pressure
Encourage them to take care of themselves, but don’t push them into activities or discussions they’re not ready for. Offer gentle support without making them feel like they need to be strong all the time.
6. Help Them Find Moments of Joy
Cancer can feel all-consuming, so help them find moments of lightness. Watch a favorite movie together, take a short walk, or share funny stories to bring some comfort and normalcy.
7. Support Their Caregivers, Too
If your loved one has a primary caregiver, they may also need help and emotional support. Offering them assistance, even with small tasks, can ease their burden.
Your Support Matters
Supporting a loved one with cancer isn’t about having all the right answers—it’s about showing up, listening, and being there in whatever way they need. Even small gestures can bring comfort and strength to someone facing this difficult journey.
If you or a loved one has recently received a cancer diagnosis, receive the support you need at Dayspring Cancer Clinic. Learn more about your options by calling 480-699-7400 or registering at https://www.dayspringcancerclinic.com/contact to schedule a consultation with our medical director, Dr. Andrew Dickens.